Desperate Life

There are beggars everywhere here. Hundreds and hundreds of them.

Most are sitting. All lined up in a very long long line. It seems to go on forever. They sit with their bowls and hands out asking for food. Many just use their hands and motion to you and then point to their mouths. You also see some of the local people walking by with big bags of uncooked rice that they give to the beggars by scooping small handfuls of the rice into the beggars bowls.

There are loads of other beggars just walking around. Mostly children or mothers with their babies. They also use their hands and motion to you and then point to their mouths. Some ask for rupees....but most just want food.

A lot of them are very persistant and they keep following you and crowd you in. Some of them even start touching you and grabbing your arm.

I found myself shoving a few of them out of my way yesterday as I was so overwhelmed by the numbers and persistance of them all.

All I kept thinking was how was I going to pick someone to give stuff to. How?

Especially when you do give and they want more. How?

It was a very tough day for me.

I felt like I was losing all my compassion for people.

It was even more harder when I walked by some of the cremations going on by the Ganges river. I witnessed the burning of bodies. The bodies were wrapped up and placed on firewood. The spot I was at had 3 burnings going on at the same time. Around the fire you see all the garbage and then notice that life is still going on while the bodies are burning. Dogs are running around. So are the goats and cows. People are walking by. Boats are stopped with tourists right in front of the burnings. Boys are playing cricket.

I'd never seen anything like this before.

Back at the hotel I spoke about my afternoon to try and understand why I couldn't understand.

Leland tried to help and mentioned that the beggars are desperate people.

This somehow clicked in my mind.

Having lost hope
Suffering extreme need or anxiety

I've never in my life seen anyone in desperation. Ever.

It was a very sad night for me.